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But these talking tips from relationship experts will We expect our partners to listen like girlfriends do. How do we do that? By learning a few simple talking tips to bridge that gender gap. Here's how to talk to men and really get them to hear you. When you started dating, your guy was a great listener. But then came that day he sided with your boss… and you tore him to bits. If he thinks you just want him to agree, he won't have any incentive to listen. Nobody likes suppressing their honest opinions or feeling compelled to agree with someone they think is wrong.
Then do it. If you find yourself biting your tongue or wanting to argue, fight the urge. You might be five minutes into a story before you ask him a relevant question. If you notice him growing impatient, try keeping your comments clear and direct, focusing on the essential points, says Robert Leahy, Ph. Ask your question first.
Then, share the facts — limiting your story to two or three minutes. Pause, ask for his thoughts, and wait. Changing your conversation style takes discipline, Puhn says. But feminism did something strange to love and dating: It got women talking about the stuff we do, says Donna Sozio, co-author of The Man Whisperer Adams Media. Men spend their whole lives jockeying with other guys for status and respect. So let him know when things are going well, but try not to brag too much about your new Mercedes or finishing your first Iron Man triathlon.
And while lots of men are proud of their high-achieving partners, others are still intimidated by an accomplished woman. Relationship do: Do what you do.
Stay your amazing self. But you need advice or an answer to a question, and he can multi-task, right? Not always.
Relationship do: Be patient. Just try again later. If you have a serious question, he might need time to think about his response. Ask your question and give him space.
Then come back later. While men view conversation as a means to an end, some women not all just like to talk, and can go on and on without pausing. Instead, many men will just shut down.
Relationship do: Remember that a conversation goes two ways. Slow down, edit yourself and ask for feedback. Your girlfriend made you angry today. You know she means well, but how could she think that was the right thing to do? You want him to listen, nod his head, give you a hug and make you feel better. He can barely even follow your train of thought.
Their responses might make you angry: Some men think listening to a rant means validating what they perceive as whining. Men naturally respond to problems by trying to fix them, so if all you want is for him to listen, let him know. So remember to thank him for caring enough to hear and support you, Leahy says. And then, maybe switch to a lighter subject. Relationship do: Embrace your differences.
Strong relationships happen between people with different interests. You start out talking about one thing, and it reminds you of something else, so you launch into that topic, then another and so on. Stick to one topic at a time. For them, almost everything is an interruption. That means agreeing verbally, rephrasing your question, prompting the answer and nodding excessively, Armstrong says. Relationship do: Instead of phrasing your reminder as a request, turn it into a question.
They remember by thinking through to get to the answer, Puhn explains. It works because the only thing most guys love more than their phones are new apps. Health Topics. Health Tools.
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